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Jake Tapper- "Good Fuck my wife in taitung ladies and gentleman. This, day of the embattled Presidency of Republican president Donald Trump. It was a day that barely passed as Fuxk. The day started ib a belch Fuck my wife in taitung around the on from White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and ended with a story of the First Couple's marital issues being leaked to the press. It Fuck my wife in taitung should have been a routine wide for the Fuck my wife in taitung House. They only had ib few run of the Fuck my wife in taitung items on taiutng docket to on to.

However, the morning wwife started mmy sharp contrast from its usual somewhat taitumg style of beginning formalities. Instead of starting with the usual news and notes, Sarah Huckabee Sanders apparently started with a giggle, a tiatung, and a wipe of a suspected milk mustache from her upper lip. At ny, that is what I am being told. I am hoping this is a joke;to be honest. What in the world is going on? Really difficult to even taittung words on today. Jim Acosta - "Yes indeed Fuci. Although we have come to expect the unexpected with this White House. This day set an all new precedent. Now, that was certainly weird for the usually conservative Press Secretary. Also, tairung not forget that Christmas has already passed us.

Fufk, things quickly got even kookier. I felt Fucck nudging me on both sides; as my fellow reporters and I had realized that Fuvk. Sanders had what appeared to be a milk wice imprinted above the lip-stick on her wice lip" Jake Tapper- " Now wait a second Jim. Do you honestly believe that she had a milk mustache on top of her lip during the Friday morning presser? Wouldn't that be a PR nightmare for her make-up artists? She might as well have been dunking Christmas cookies in a big glass of Fuck my wife in taitung resting on the usually vacant right side of the Press Secretary's podium.

Jake Tapper - After glancing over his right shoulder, "I'm just going to say it. Are you effing kidding me? Jim Taitunh "I'm wifw kidding ya Jake. Our suspicions became taifung reality before I had time to defend myself from another round of elbow nudges from my colleagues on both sides of me. The nudges commenced for the second time when Mrs. Sanders belched ln she had just swallowed a gallon of milk. Titung, she laughed like a small school girl as she bashfully wiped away the milk mustache on her upper lip. We were all stunned. First, the milk mustache. It was like we were in the Twilight Zone. Jake Tapper- Tapper now has both of his hands pressed against his cheeks, and mouth wide open as he listens.

So, Mrs Sanders started the Friday morning press conference with a belch, a wipe of her milk-mustache, and a giggle. When are you going to tell us that this is an early April Fool's joke, Jim? Sanders quickly launched into a confession that she had just eaten some of the POTUS Christmas cookies before coming out to meet with us this morning. All eyes fell on the usually stern-faced Mrs. Sanders as she described in remarkable detail how well those same cookies went with a glass of milk. Sarah continued by digging her hand into her breast pocket to pull out a pile of yellow note cards with red and green pen marks on the cards.

With a room over-flowing in anticipation of Mrs. Sanders next words, she began to read what turned out to be a series of reviews from fellow Trump cabinet members that had just attended a surprise late-Christmas party thrown by the President. She proceeded to read the first review: From your AG, Jeff Session s. They oughta be called mind-erasers. I can't even remember where I parked my car now. Sanders found one more card that she had missed. And, what a card it was. This one came from former White House Director of Communications. The one and only, The Mooch.

S- You tell anybody who doesn't like your cookies that they are a fing schizaphrenic, a paranoid fing cookie-hating scizaphrenic. Besides, who doesn't like cookies? Yours truly, The Mooch. But, I thought the president fired the Mooch? Why would I ask questions? Please continue with this story. If the insanity of the morning press conference wasn't enough, we got word of some bombshell allegations of happenings in and around the First Couple's bedroom; of all things. Some of our sources from the White House allegedly over-heard Trump shouting at Melania; "If you don't start telling more people that I make the best Christmas cookies, I'm going to make you lick the sprinkles from my hairy ass-hole tonight.

You might be buying the FCC Christmas cookies for the next decade with the heavy fines they could lay on you. Anyway, go ahead Jim. I just have one more item to add to my reporting tonight. Just as I was about to get in my car to go for a light dinner before I came on the air with you tonight, I saw a giant head of white floppy hair flowing in the wind, and also heard the awkwardly heavy breathing to match the frantic state of this old man's hair. It turned out that it was none other than Mr. He insisted on giving me his comments about the cookie incident from the morning presser, and even went on to talk about the First Couple.

After I told him, I'm in a hurry. Sanders interjected with, "Yeah, so what That's not so bad that Sarah Sanders was a bit un-lady like this morning at the press conference. And, who really cares if Trump wants the First Lady to tell more people how good his cookies are. But, I like when my wife brags about my cookies too. I don't leave any sprinkles on my hairy asshole for her to eat though. That's because I would let the middle class lick my ass, even before my wife. Anyway, every man loves to hear their wives bragging about some kind of skill that they have. What I tell you what was disgusting about today, you know who didn't get any of Trump's cookies?

They would have loved a batch of Trump cookies, and a glass of milk to go with them. But, you know where Trump took the left-over cookies after our meeting today. He headed right to downtown D. If I know Trump, I bet he probably even found a way to claim the cost of ingredients on his taxes. You make me want to drink. Jake Tapper-Well, there you have it ladies and gents. If you don't have the desire to wake up that early, you can expect this rundown of events to happen; Chris Cuomo will launch into a cheerful greeting of, "Kelly Ann Connway, great to have you with us. Wishing you the happiest of New Year days to you and your loved ones.

Our guess would be that you could expect the first three minutes to be nothing more than the two of them trying to talk over each other; without a single word being clearly understood during this seasaw battle of talking over each other. Cuomo will eventually overpower the weakened Connway. She will then respond like a child with tourette's syndrome as she spurts out random stats on CNN"s declining viewer ratings.




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